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But there’s no way I could have prepared for this. The pain’s deep down inside my fucking chest. The feeling of emptiness is unreal. The loneliness. I’m gonna lose it. I just know I’m gonna lose my mind. They’re going to put me away somewhere. A place where the world can forget about me. But I won’t forget. I can’t. Maybe I should just end it. It? Yes, it. End it all. It can’t be that hard to do. It would be a relief. Forever. Why not? I can’t face tomorrow. Heck, I can’t even face today. Look at my hands. They’re shaking. I’m tired. So very tired. I can’t take this anymore and there’s fuck all I can do about it. That’s the worst part of it. I’ve always been able to do something about it when shit happened. All I know now is what hollowness feels like. A great big fucking void sucking everything out of me. That’s all that’s left. A lifeless, useless shell of a man. My thoughts are only for myself. It’s a gray September day. I’m sitting on a park bench with weeping willows (what. We think a lot about Abby, after what she’s gone through. I like her, dad well, he respects her and isn’t sure what to make of the two of you dating. It’s strange that she’s a neighbor one day and our son’s girlfriend the next. Your father has some concern about the age difference, but I explained the meaning of not his concern.”“Thanks; now what would you like us to bring over, tomorrow night?”“I've got an apple, pumpkin and cherry pie set aside, so how about some ice-cream? Neapolitan would be fine and a Christmas list of items for Ted and Barbara.”“Sure, I’ll check with Abby.”I told Abby what my mom wanted us to bring and about the lists for the kids. I saw the shopping list, the front, and half the back side filled.“Man, that’s going to be one heavy shopping cart.”“Yes, but if my stud lover and boyfriend isn’t up to the challenge…”Vince tickled her saying, “Okay, I deserved that.”“You know what?”Vince shrugged his shoulders.“I’ll be the envy of all the other ladies, because I.
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